Sorry I haven’t been around for awhile. In all honesty, I just haven’t felt much like writing. Call it a depression, call it a funk. I’m not exactly sure. It must be something significant for me to not want to write. Whatever it is, this too shall end.

Things are going ok. I’m still working out everyday. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely been frustrated with it all. Seems I just can’t lose the weight as quickly as I want to. I could lie about it, say that I work out extensively when really I’m sitting here eating bon bons all day. But that just isn’t the case. I’ve continued to do the resistance training mixed with intervals. It’s a specific program called Turbulence Training that I’m following that has been very successful. So it’s not like I’m pulling exercises out of my ass or anything. And trust me, I’m giving it my all. I just wish I was a size 2 already.

Ok, I will admit… I do see some changes. I know I’m building a lot of muscles. I know my clothes are fitting better and that I’m wearing things I haven’t worn in quite some time. But I see the scale only creeping down. Yes, I know… it’s still downward. I know I didn’t get this way over night. I know it takes time. Fuck that! I’m so not the patient person!!!!

But I’m determined to keep going. I have to, no matter what. I’m finding motivation in the strangest places. For example, I stole my daughter’s pedometer. It’s a Barbie one that she bought by sending a UPC from a pop tarts box and $1.99 of her own money. I really need to get my own. I’ve started walking around our neighborhood, to the store, wherever I get a bug up my butt to walk that day. I’ve really paid attention to how many steps I take. An average walk for me has been over 7,000 steps. That’s not including the rest of the day. I’m walking sometimes over 13,000 steps a day. I notice that when I’m walking with it on, I’ll make sure that I walk enough to reach that goal. Being hot pink and shaped like a butterfly, it’s no fashion statement. But the point is, I’m walking a lot more than I would be without it. I’ll be looking into a better one soon.

Another crazy thing keeping me active is the Wii Fit. I have to tell you, I absolutely love this damn thing. We’ve had it for about a month now. Anyone who knows about the Wii knows that you can create a Mii to look like yourself. We did that a long time ago. When we got the Wii Fit, you use the Mii you already created. My husband was the first one to set up a profile on it. The first thing that happens is it tests your posture by giving you a body test. You simply need to stand still while it measures how you’re standing. You’d be amazed at how much you may lean to one side or another. After, it measures your BMI based on your height, sex and age (it is not sophisticated enough to take muscle mass into consideration) and your weight. We all laughed our asses off when it adjusted my husband’s slender Mii that he created to the overweight version based on his weight and BMI. I was not, however, laughing when it plumped me up quite nicely the next day.

The Wii Fit has a lot of games that help improve your overall fitness. There are balance games, aerobics, strength training and yoga. Some games are pretty easy and are not what I consider to be working out. Others are pretty challenging! My entire family is playing it. The kids don’t realize that they’re exercising. It’s even brought out our competitive sides… everyone wants to see their names at the top of the list. Wii Fit also gives you fitness tips, words of encouragement, a personal trainer (male or female) to work with you on yoga and strength training, and even scolds you a little when you miss a few days. I’m guilty of flipping it off several times. But I keep going back.

All of this is in addition to my normal workout. You’d think I’d be skin and bones by now. But that is not in my cards. I think someone up there is sick of me doing this to myself and is bound and determined to teach me a lesson. This is the hardest time I’ve ever had losing weight. I get it! I’m older now and things are slowing down. I need to just quit the yo-yo bullshit and make this my final battle with it. In a month, I’ve lost 6 pounds and a total of 10.5 inches around my body – 3.25″ being from my waist alone. That’s not too shabby!

Well, I’m outta here. My Barbie pedometer says I still need to do some walking. Damn thing must be broken!!!

~ Slick

It doesn’t have a name yet, but I hope you like it.

~ Slick

I feel your warmth
your heat, your light
awakening my soul
from a long, cold night

With each and every
loving ray
you caress my skin
as dark turns to day

Oh, how I love
your kisses on my face
as you wrap me in
your heavenly embrace

A cloud emerges
my world is shaded
Where are you, my sun?
Why have you faded?

Your love shines through,
this obstacle no longer
You’re with me again
brighter and stronger!

My happiness disappears
as I soon discover
dark clouds rolling in
first one, then another

The cold rain falls
the wind is too much
I miss you, my sun
I long for your touch

I run and take shelter
feeling alone and worn
Come back to me, sun!
We can fight this storm!

The rain subsides
But such is my fate
Darkness is coming
I fear it’s too late

The clouds are gone
the storm has past
But the damage was done
And the heat didn’t last

We tried our best
Our time together is done
I see you leave me, my sun
Going… going… gone

L.G.F.
August 22, 2008

I’m sick today. Actually, I’ve been sick for about 5 days now. It got worse yesterday and today. I’m all stuffy and can’t stop coughing. So it looks like I won’t be working out today. And since I can’t work out, I’ll write!

The reason it’s so important for me to work out and eat healthy is because I have a heart disease called Dilated Cardiomyopathy. I was diagnosed December 19, 2002. It’s where your heart will enlarge and become inefficient at pumping blood through your body. The larger it becomes, the harder it pumps. The harder it pumps, the larger it becomes. It’s a nasty cycle. Typically the prognosis isn’t so great. If you look it up on the internet, most sites say you’ll be dead in 5 years! But the advances in heart disease and medications have made it possible for those of us with DCM to lead a relatively longer life. That’s not to say that it’s easy to fight. The reality is that DCM can eventually lead to Congestive Heart Failure and sometimes death. Many patients end up on heart transplant lists. So you can imagine I wasn’t real excited to learn that I had this disease!

DCM can be caused by many different things (i.e. a virus, pregnancy, other heart problems, alcohol) but in my case, they’re not exactly sure what caused it. I was pregnant with my second child when I was diagnosed, however, most cases of DCM are diagnosed towards the end or after the pregnancy when there is major stress on the body. I was diagnosed when I was only 16 weeks pregnant. It’s possible that I developed it while pregnant with my first child and it was just never diagnosed.

The only symptom I’ve ever had is palpitations (where your heart skips a beat). But palpitations are very common anyway and not a great indicator of DCM. With cardiomyopathy, most people can’t breathe too well, especially during physical activities or when lying down. Even walking up stairs can be difficult. Fatigue is a common complaint as is edema. None of this was true for me. In fact, had it not been for my son (who I believe is my Guardian Angel), I wouldn’t even know I had this disease.

While I was pregnant with my daughter, I had palpitations. When I asked my OB/GYN about it, he said that it was very common during pregnancy and not to worry about it. So I ignored it. The same thing began happening while I was pregnant with my son. Again I asked, and again I was told the same thing. Because of the history of heart disease in my family, and because I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something wasn’t right, I insisted on seeing a cardiologist.

My initial tests were fine. He decided to do an echocardiogram because of my history taking Phen/Fen and the possibility of valvular damage. My valves were fine. Instead, he found DCM (which was not caused by Phen/Fen). At the time, the DCM was mild. My ejection fraction (the percentage at which your heart pumps blood. A healthy heart range can be 50-75%) was 45%. But I still had to see an OB/GYN and cardiologist at the Cleveland Clinic who specialized in cases like mine.

Over the next month, my EF dropped to 30% and stayed there throughout the rest of my pregnancy. My left ventricle was 5.9 cm (healthy range is 3.5-5.7 cm). I wasn’t on medications because of my son, and for the fact that I had no major symptoms still. Even after giving birth, which was a C-Section because my son turned breech, my heart was fine. I wasn’t put on medications because my overall health seemed good and because I really wanted to breastfeed my child. About one month after having him, my EF had dropped to 19% and my left ventricle was up to 6.1 cm. Again, I had no symptoms. But because the EF was so low and my heart was enlarging, my doctor felt it best to put me on medications. We were able to find some that didn’t interfere with breastfeeding and I was able to continue for at least 3 months. For that, I am grateful.

My EF went back up to 25% and hung out there for the next few years. My left ventricle got as high as 6.8 cm, but it too stabilized. I was put on a cocktail of medications (Coreg, Digoxin, Lisinopril, and Spironolactone). I switched cardiologists when I moved. I spoke of him before when I wrote about how much I hated him for wanting me to start South Beach. Today, I’m thanking him.

I had been on South Beach and exercising for a few months before we decided to do another echo. My EF had increased to 30%, and my left ventricle had dropped to 5.6 cm…. it shrunk over 1 full cm and was a normal measurement!!! I was ecstatic!!! Now, I am in no way saying that my results were caused by switching to South Beach. But my next echo, done a year later, showed an increase in my EF to 35% and my left ventricle remained stable. Could this healthy eating and exercising be contributing to it? Sure! Am I just some lucky bitch who’s cardiomyopathy is reversing on its own? Sure! We don’t know why it’s happening. My cardiologist is amazed as well. But, as he says, the diet and exercising are definitely NOT hurting and could be helping tremendously.

When I was diagnosed, after weeks of crying my eyes out and wondering why me, I made a decision to do whatever it took to fight this disease. I don’t mind eating South Beach. It’s actually pretty good! And I’ve gotten good at cooking different recipes. I hate exercising, I won’t lie. But if it’s making my heart better, I will do it. My next echo is in January. I have every intentions of kicking this disease’s ass. And if I do, there will be a serious party!!

~ Slick

I was supposed to write a blog about South Beach for a friend of mine (’sup Liz?), but this is weighing heavily on my mind.

A very close friend of mine is in a situation that I don’t envy at all. I’m sure many of you out there can relate to this, unfortunately. Over a year and a half ago, my friend and his girlfriend of however many years broke up. They have one biological child together, however she has another child with another man prior to him. My friend treated this woman’s other daughter as if she was his own. The reasons why they broke up are irrelevant in this case. But from what I understand, he tried to make it work with her. Currently, his daughter lives with this woman.

BTW, my friend is our roommate. I understand that I may be biased here, but much of what I’m basing my opinion on is from what I’ve personally witnessed.

Legally, my friend is paying child support and has a court order that says he gets his daughter every other weekend and alternating holidays. This woman has no job and lives with her mother. She’s collecting child support from two different fathers. She’s been on a power play ever since they broke up. Whenever she’s upset with my friend, she uses their daughter against him. If she needs money for whatever reason (even items for her OTHER daughter), she calls my friend. If he refuses to pay any more money than his child support or to pay for things for a child that isn’t even his, she refuses to let him see their daughter. His child support money is to be used for expenses for his daughter, and not for her car payment or her other child. I’ve seen him completely devastated when he couldn’t see his child at Christmas (we had to give the girls their Christmas presents at Easter!!). She didn’t let him see her on Father’s Day… not even a phone call. No birthday either. She’s actually blackmailed him by refusing to let him see his daughter if he didn’t take BOTH girls overnight.

Yes, he can slap a motion of contempt on her. And in my opinion, this is long overdue. I have seen her use both kids against him since they’ve broken up. I’ve witnessed her blatantly lie to him about his daughter having tuberculosis trying to put him on a guilt trip for not driving an hour out of his way to bring her a bottle of Tylenol. As we all know, Tylenol is the known cure for TB. And what the hell kind of people is she exposing her children to that they may be at risk for TB?!?!

The only reason he hasn’t filed the motion of contempt is for his child. He’s too kind hearted to send their mom to jail.

Bad thing about all of this is that she thinks she’d doing the right thing. She playing those girls to get back at him for whatever reason, not realizing the damage she’s doing to them. The girls have been to my house several times (yes, he even still takes her other daughter when his daughter comes to visit, even though he has absolutely no obligation to her. He simply loves her.) and they are beautiful children. They don’t deserve to be hurt by their mother’s immaturity. When they’re here, he lights up! It’s so obvious how much he loves them. I’ve never heard him utter even one bad thing about their mother to them. I can’t say that their mother has been so wise.

My friend gets it! He understands that no matter how much he detests this woman, that it doesn’t interfere with how his child should be raised. They may not have made it as a couple, but they’re still parents and always will be. He realizes that they need to work together to raise their daughter. Shame she doesn’t.

Imagine how they will grow up… having multiple men in their lives who all claim to be a “father figure,” hating their real fathers because they’ve been force fed their mother’s opinion, never trusting men as a result. It’s a shame, especially since there’s a man who loves BOTH of them so much he’d go to the ends of the world for them. He just refuses to be their mother’s puppet. So he’s being punished because of it. And so are they.

Apparently the use of the word “ass” in my tags from my last post has resulted in more activity on my page.  Now even though I wasn’t referring to ass in the sexual context, it has got me thinking.  So…..

Welcome Tits, Ass and Sex Lovers!!

Although this post wasn’t exactly what you were looking for, stick around!  Maybe you’ll like it!  Who knew my farting story would create so much traffic? (And “fart” was another popular search word)  Imagine if I throw in the word “fuck” or “lesbian.”  It would be chaos!!

Getting back to my ass though, I’ve decided to give interval training a serious try.  I figure it can’t hurt, unless you count the times my ass hits the back of my head when I jog at high speeds.  They really should make ass bras for such an occasion.

I’ve been doing intervals now for just over a week.  After a 5 minute warm up, I alternate between 90 seconds of a lower speed (currently 3.0 mph) and 30 seconds of a faster speed (6.5 mph) for 30 minutes, ending with a 5 minute cool down.  While that may not seem all that fast to you advanced interval-ers, it’s good for me so far.  I’m adding this to my weekly work out routines, 3 times a week followed by resistance training.  The other days I’m doing my normal 40 minute cardio routine with inclines.  I figure it should start burning fat sooner or later.  Either that or I’ll be dead from exhaustion.  Whichever.

As for the resistance training, I think my body must not understand exactly what that means.  It seems to be resisting the training!  I’ve added exercises that are awkward to do and really make you look stupid as well.  My kids get the biggest kick out of them.  Until I make them get down and do the exercises with me.  Who’s laughing now, you little shits???

When this is all done, and I’ve reached my goal, I’ll post before and after pics.  You may all be very old and unable to see anymore, but I’ll be one smokin’ grandma!!

~ Slick

Never thought I’d write a blog about this, and I may embarrass myself considerably, but dieters need to be warned.  Plus it’s pretty damn funny.  Some may find it disgusting, others will laugh at my expense.

So I’m trying to eat healthy and exercise.  Part of me keeping to this plan it to allow myself the occasional treat.  I still try to keep it healthier, so my favorite thing to get when I feel a sweet tooth is at Friendly’s.  They have a sugar free vanilla ice cream made with splenda and a sugar free chocolate topping.  And while I know it’s not great for me to do this, I also add their peanut butter sauce.  I can have peanut butter, but the extra sugar isn’t good.  Oh well, it’s my one treat.

Last night, I ordered the usual… an original sized sugar free sundae (3 scoop).  Now, if any of you have ever been on a low sugar diet or have eaten anything made with sugar alcohols, you may be able to relate to this story.  Keep in mind this is the same sundae I have eaten every other time with no ill effects.  This time, however, it hit me big time!  It started with a simple gurgling in my stomach.  Nothing major, but enough so that others around me noticed as well.  It progressed into an obnoxious sound that made me believe that my stomach was now eating all other organs surrounding it.  My family decided it was best to move far away from me and take cover.

Feeling the bloating, I decided to take a Phazyme to help control any gas that might be coming.  By the time I was ready for bed, the cramping had come on pretty strong.  Not diarrhea or anything, just gas.  Now, I am a lady when it comes to gas of any kind.  I refuse to fart in front of anyone, even my husband.  It’s not that I find it disgusting.  I’m just respectful in the sense that no one needs to smell my stench.  So I’ll excuse myself into the restroom.  This time, however, there was no making it to the bathroom in time.  My ass couldn’t squeeze hard enough to hold the gas in!  With each step I took going up the stairs, little toots were echoing in the hallway.

I slept miserably!!  All through the night, I was passing gas so much that it was waking me up (thankfully my husband works third shift, so I was alone)!!  Thank God I had the sheets over my ass or I would’ve died from gas inhalation!!   At about 4:30, I woke up to pee.  You would’ve thought my ass was doing a trumpet solo.  It just wouldn’t stop!  All in all, I had gas issues (even after taking Phazyme) from 8:00 p.m. – 6:00 a.m., when I finally went to sleep. I’m not sure what caused a reaction this time.  My favorite sweet tooth semi-healthy treat turned against me.

So dieters beware!  Watch how much SF items you eat or you, too, could end up playing a tune from your ass!

Since I was about 10, I’ve had a problem with my weight. I was the chunky kid all throughout elementary school and partially into middle school. When I was about 14, I decided it was time to lose the weight (I had a new boyfriend that I needed to impress). I wasn’t the smartest of kids, so instead of doing things the right way, I only ate one meal a day and exercised quite a bit. I lost the extra weight over one summer. When I returned to school, everyone was amazed! I had never been so proud. I remained thin for the rest of middle school and all of high school eating only one meal a day.

After high school, I moved in with my future husband, who at the time worked for Baker’s Square. He would bring home extra pies every night. Not just silly fruit pies, but Peanut Butter Cup pie and Heath Pie. Every time that skinny girl in me would scream that I was gaining weight, I’d shut her up with another piece of pie. In no time at all, I had gained back a lot of weight. All through my 20’s, I yo-yo’d up and down the scales. Unfortunately, whenever I was trying to lose weight, I’d resort back to the one meal a day routine. I never exercised. While it worked a couple of times, eventually it stopped. I had killed my metabolism.

In my early 30’s, I had tipped the scales at over 230 pounds. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t believe what I had let happen to myself. I even blamed everyone and everything for the way I looked. If my step-mother hadn’t cooked really fattening foods when we were little, I’d have never gained weight. If I hadn’t learned from someone how to eat one meal a day to lose weight, I’d have never killed my metabolism. If my family didn’t have really bad genes, I wouldn’t be fat. I blamed everything… pregnancy, hormones, stress. One day, I just stopped placing the blame on others. I pointed the finger at myself.

That was hard. It was hard for me to admit that I was the one who made me the way I am. I did the damage all by myself. And with that came the realization that I had the power to do something about it. But it wasn’t just like someone turned on a switch inside me and the next day I was health conscience. I fought it tooth and nail.

Diet and exercise? Yeah right! I was all about a quick fix. Give me a pill, and I was happy. I was all set to solve my weight issue like my sister, father and aunt had just done – through bariatric surgery (which I know isn’t a quick fix and you still have to work hard – don’t send me hate emails). I have a heart condition (which I’ll write about some other time) and needed my doctor’s approval for the surgery. I wasn’t 100 pounds overweight, which is required, but I did have the health problems that might have pushed me over the top. But my doctor had other plans. He told me that he’d consider my request, but he first wanted me to try South Beach. Now, I had tried every damn diet out there before SB – Atkins, Grapefruit, WW, Diabetic Diet, Cleveland Clinic Diet, Phen-Fen, low fat, you name it. And now he wanted me to try another one.

I hated him. I wanted to yell at him that he had never seen a fat day in his life, so how could he know how I felt? I bought the book, and it sat on my end table for 5 months collecting dust. One day, I decided to read it. And the damn thing made sense. It actually seemed easy to do. So I convinced myself that I needed to try it. I had done everything else except trying to lose weight the old fashioned way – diet and exercise. I purchased a treadmill to help me with my quest for the perfect health.

Over the first 6 months, I lost 65 pounds. I worked my ass off!! I showed that treadmill no mercy!! Every day I’d do heavy cardio for an hour followed by 30 minutes of resistance training. It was brutal!! I also noticed myself getting back to old habits… eating just one meal a day. But it came off so quickly that I didn’t care. It was too much for anyone to take. Eventually, I got burnt out.

I stopped eating healthily and the work outs dwindled. It wasn’t until I saw myself in pictures again that I realized what had happened. I had gained some weight back. It wasn’t the full amount, but it was enough that I felt miserable.

I’ve been back at it again since May. I’m not working out nearly as hard, but I still challenge myself. I’m doing 40 minutes of cardio at a lower intensity than before. Every other day, I’ll do 20 minutes of resistance training. And as far as the eating once a day thing, I’m trying hard to not get back into that habit. It’s been a struggle, but I’m really determined to live healthy. I eat tons of veggies, lean meats, low fat dairy, whole grains. I treat myself to sugar free favorites like chocolate/peanut butter pudding cups with whipped cream. I’m definitely not starving!

So I work out, which I hate. And I eat very healthy… which isn’t bad, but nothing like eating all my favorites. I allow myself to cheat every once in awhile, but I know I need to get back on track afterwards. I’m trying to adapt to a new lifestyle, and not a quick fix.

This is my quest – I want the healthy body I’ve always dreamed of. I want to wear a bathing suit that doesn’t cover all of my “fat parts.” I want to feel great in a pair of jeans. And the day my thighs don’t rub together when I walk, I’m taking an ad out in the newspaper!

Day number two on here and I’m still trying to figure this site out. I added a little to the About Me section, so now everyone can see who’s strange ramblings they’re reading. I’ve added my eyes as a custom header so I can watch all of you. I’ve even added a feed that will allow readers to subscribe by email, which is now finally working. I never claimed to be the brightest star in the sky. But I do appreciate those of you that have read my first blog. Thanks for the support!

Blogging is bizarre… I guess I never figured anyone would be interested in what I have to say. I know my husband and children never are! If anything, it’s a great tension reliever and a whole lot cheaper than therapy. Coming up with topics will be challenging. It’s kind of like cooking. I’m a great cook, as long as I know what it is I’m going to make. I just hate coming up with ideas everyday. So if there is something specific that you’d like me to blog about, feel free to ask. I’m pretty much an open book, I’ll discuss just about anything. Except garden gnomes. Those damn thing creep me out!

Another thing – please don’t take anything that I say seriously. I’m very sarcastic and my humor is a bit dark. I try to not be offensive, but I can’t please everyone.

Well, I’m off to bed. Good night to all!

~ Slick

Hello, everyone! So I guess I should start by introducing myself. I’m CSlick, or just Slick if you prefer. I’m a 36 year old woman, married with two kids. I thought I’d give this whole blogging thing a try. Qualifications for writing a blog? None. Unless you count being a woman because we know all, right? Plus I like to talk. A lot. Another woman specialty.

Ok, a little background about me… my husband and I have been married for 12 years, and together for 19. We were high school sweethearts (awwwwww!). He’s an electrician and I’m a stay at home mom now. I used to have a career as a PR/Communications Coordinator for multiple regions of a real estate company. Man, I loved it! But I gave it all up to stay at home and raise the kids. Now, I’m seriously wondering what I was thinking. It’s a struggle to keep my last few brain cells alive.

We have a daughter who is 8, and a son who’s 5. I have to admit, we got lucky. Both kids are very intelligent, well behaved and well mannered. I sometimes wonder if they were switched at the hospital. They do keep me busy though. I may joke a lot about them, and some may find my sarcasm completely inappropriate when it comes to them. But I love them more than anything in this world. So please don’t be offended if I say crazy things about my kids or my husband. No, I wouldn’t REALLY love them more if they had muzzles. And I don’t REALLY want to divorce my husband just so I can have every other weekend off. Well, maybe that last one’s a little true. ~

We live in Ohio. I honestly don’t know why. There’s not much to do or see. The weather sucks 90% of the time. And “orange barrel season” has become an official season. Both my husband and I have lived here all of our lives. We know that better places to live exist. We’ve even seen pictures! But we’re still here. Maybe we just don’t know our way out.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll pick this up again when I get a bug up my ass to write. I look forward to sharing completely irrelevant and worthless information about my life with you.

~ Slick