Since I was about 10, I’ve had a problem with my weight. I was the chunky kid all throughout elementary school and partially into middle school. When I was about 14, I decided it was time to lose the weight (I had a new boyfriend that I needed to impress). I wasn’t the smartest of kids, so instead of doing things the right way, I only ate one meal a day and exercised quite a bit. I lost the extra weight over one summer. When I returned to school, everyone was amazed! I had never been so proud. I remained thin for the rest of middle school and all of high school eating only one meal a day.

After high school, I moved in with my future husband, who at the time worked for Baker’s Square. He would bring home extra pies every night. Not just silly fruit pies, but Peanut Butter Cup pie and Heath Pie. Every time that skinny girl in me would scream that I was gaining weight, I’d shut her up with another piece of pie. In no time at all, I had gained back a lot of weight. All through my 20’s, I yo-yo’d up and down the scales. Unfortunately, whenever I was trying to lose weight, I’d resort back to the one meal a day routine. I never exercised. While it worked a couple of times, eventually it stopped. I had killed my metabolism.

In my early 30’s, I had tipped the scales at over 230 pounds. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t believe what I had let happen to myself. I even blamed everyone and everything for the way I looked. If my step-mother hadn’t cooked really fattening foods when we were little, I’d have never gained weight. If I hadn’t learned from someone how to eat one meal a day to lose weight, I’d have never killed my metabolism. If my family didn’t have really bad genes, I wouldn’t be fat. I blamed everything… pregnancy, hormones, stress. One day, I just stopped placing the blame on others. I pointed the finger at myself.

That was hard. It was hard for me to admit that I was the one who made me the way I am. I did the damage all by myself. And with that came the realization that I had the power to do something about it. But it wasn’t just like someone turned on a switch inside me and the next day I was health conscience. I fought it tooth and nail.

Diet and exercise? Yeah right! I was all about a quick fix. Give me a pill, and I was happy. I was all set to solve my weight issue like my sister, father and aunt had just done – through bariatric surgery (which I know isn’t a quick fix and you still have to work hard – don’t send me hate emails). I have a heart condition (which I’ll write about some other time) and needed my doctor’s approval for the surgery. I wasn’t 100 pounds overweight, which is required, but I did have the health problems that might have pushed me over the top. But my doctor had other plans. He told me that he’d consider my request, but he first wanted me to try South Beach. Now, I had tried every damn diet out there before SB – Atkins, Grapefruit, WW, Diabetic Diet, Cleveland Clinic Diet, Phen-Fen, low fat, you name it. And now he wanted me to try another one.

I hated him. I wanted to yell at him that he had never seen a fat day in his life, so how could he know how I felt? I bought the book, and it sat on my end table for 5 months collecting dust. One day, I decided to read it. And the damn thing made sense. It actually seemed easy to do. So I convinced myself that I needed to try it. I had done everything else except trying to lose weight the old fashioned way – diet and exercise. I purchased a treadmill to help me with my quest for the perfect health.

Over the first 6 months, I lost 65 pounds. I worked my ass off!! I showed that treadmill no mercy!! Every day I’d do heavy cardio for an hour followed by 30 minutes of resistance training. It was brutal!! I also noticed myself getting back to old habits… eating just one meal a day. But it came off so quickly that I didn’t care. It was too much for anyone to take. Eventually, I got burnt out.

I stopped eating healthily and the work outs dwindled. It wasn’t until I saw myself in pictures again that I realized what had happened. I had gained some weight back. It wasn’t the full amount, but it was enough that I felt miserable.

I’ve been back at it again since May. I’m not working out nearly as hard, but I still challenge myself. I’m doing 40 minutes of cardio at a lower intensity than before. Every other day, I’ll do 20 minutes of resistance training. And as far as the eating once a day thing, I’m trying hard to not get back into that habit. It’s been a struggle, but I’m really determined to live healthy. I eat tons of veggies, lean meats, low fat dairy, whole grains. I treat myself to sugar free favorites like chocolate/peanut butter pudding cups with whipped cream. I’m definitely not starving!

So I work out, which I hate. And I eat very healthy… which isn’t bad, but nothing like eating all my favorites. I allow myself to cheat every once in awhile, but I know I need to get back on track afterwards. I’m trying to adapt to a new lifestyle, and not a quick fix.

This is my quest – I want the healthy body I’ve always dreamed of. I want to wear a bathing suit that doesn’t cover all of my “fat parts.” I want to feel great in a pair of jeans. And the day my thighs don’t rub together when I walk, I’m taking an ad out in the newspaper!