I was supposed to write a blog about South Beach for a friend of mine (’sup Liz?), but this is weighing heavily on my mind.

A very close friend of mine is in a situation that I don’t envy at all. I’m sure many of you out there can relate to this, unfortunately. Over a year and a half ago, my friend and his girlfriend of however many years broke up. They have one biological child together, however she has another child with another man prior to him. My friend treated this woman’s other daughter as if she was his own. The reasons why they broke up are irrelevant in this case. But from what I understand, he tried to make it work with her. Currently, his daughter lives with this woman.

BTW, my friend is our roommate. I understand that I may be biased here, but much of what I’m basing my opinion on is from what I’ve personally witnessed.

Legally, my friend is paying child support and has a court order that says he gets his daughter every other weekend and alternating holidays. This woman has no job and lives with her mother. She’s collecting child support from two different fathers. She’s been on a power play ever since they broke up. Whenever she’s upset with my friend, she uses their daughter against him. If she needs money for whatever reason (even items for her OTHER daughter), she calls my friend. If he refuses to pay any more money than his child support or to pay for things for a child that isn’t even his, she refuses to let him see their daughter. His child support money is to be used for expenses for his daughter, and not for her car payment or her other child. I’ve seen him completely devastated when he couldn’t see his child at Christmas (we had to give the girls their Christmas presents at Easter!!). She didn’t let him see her on Father’s Day… not even a phone call. No birthday either. She’s actually blackmailed him by refusing to let him see his daughter if he didn’t take BOTH girls overnight.

Yes, he can slap a motion of contempt on her. And in my opinion, this is long overdue. I have seen her use both kids against him since they’ve broken up. I’ve witnessed her blatantly lie to him about his daughter having tuberculosis trying to put him on a guilt trip for not driving an hour out of his way to bring her a bottle of Tylenol. As we all know, Tylenol is the known cure for TB. And what the hell kind of people is she exposing her children to that they may be at risk for TB?!?!

The only reason he hasn’t filed the motion of contempt is for his child. He’s too kind hearted to send their mom to jail.

Bad thing about all of this is that she thinks she’d doing the right thing. She playing those girls to get back at him for whatever reason, not realizing the damage she’s doing to them. The girls have been to my house several times (yes, he even still takes her other daughter when his daughter comes to visit, even though he has absolutely no obligation to her. He simply loves her.) and they are beautiful children. They don’t deserve to be hurt by their mother’s immaturity. When they’re here, he lights up! It’s so obvious how much he loves them. I’ve never heard him utter even one bad thing about their mother to them. I can’t say that their mother has been so wise.

My friend gets it! He understands that no matter how much he detests this woman, that it doesn’t interfere with how his child should be raised. They may not have made it as a couple, but they’re still parents and always will be. He realizes that they need to work together to raise their daughter. Shame she doesn’t.

Imagine how they will grow up… having multiple men in their lives who all claim to be a “father figure,” hating their real fathers because they’ve been force fed their mother’s opinion, never trusting men as a result. It’s a shame, especially since there’s a man who loves BOTH of them so much he’d go to the ends of the world for them. He just refuses to be their mother’s puppet. So he’s being punished because of it. And so are they.